Kids are stressed by the holidays, too

Center City, Minn. (Nov. 24, 2021) –Through the eyes of a child, the winter holidays glow with the anticipation of times filled with games, food and traditions as family and friends gather. Yet, as counselors at the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation Children's Program know, for some kids—just as for adults—this time of year can also cause anxiety and fear, especially in families affected by addiction.

For years, the Children's Program has operated a holiday hotline for alumni of the program to reach caring adults who provide an understanding ear. At its 15 clinical sites around the U.S., Hazelden Betty Ford often sees an increase in readmission rates during the last two months of the year—spurred by factors such as the strain of the holidays, insurance deductibles, and the promise of the New Year—followed by an increase in overall admissions after the holidays.

Worrying about parties and if their loved one will drink too much or use drugs can consume a child's mind and take the fun out of what should be a joyous occasion, says Helene Photias, national executive director of the Children's Program. These worries are natural for a child who has experienced the hurt of a loved one's addiction and are heightened during holidays when alcohol, drugs and addiction are waiting in the wings.

A conversation between a child and their adult caregiver to confront these worries before the start of the holiday season can help to decrease the anxiety and fear, says Photias. "Let kids know that it is okay to have these feelings, that they are not alone—perhaps you share some of the same concerns—and that it is always okay to talk about your feelings with someone you trust and who cares about you," she suggested.

Photias emphasized that healthy actions and consistency—not promises—help children to feel safe. Children will find it comforting to know that their adult will use the support of friends, sponsors and meetings to stay healthy and sober. "And if your child is spending time with others during the holiday and you are unsure of a grown-up's sobriety, discuss your kid's concerns and help them set up a safety plan if necessary," said Photias, adding, "Empower your child to reach our for help."

The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation website offers many resources for the holidays:

• "It's okay to feel overwhelmed or nervous about the upcoming season, and the worst thing we can do is stuff it all down and pretend like everything is okay. Instead, let's try to accept our circumstances and create better traditions with space for hope and recovery." – Virtual Family Program Supervisor Sharon Bitz
• "It's an anxious time for everyone, but especially those early in recovery who have not yet established a new tradition of celebrating without substances. But there are ways you can safeguard the greatest gift you've ever given yourself and those you love: your recovery." – Recovery Management Director Kim Albers